“In human intercourse the tragedy begins, not when there is misunderstanding about words, but when silence is not understood.” Henry David Thoreau
If you ask a number of married couples of what marriage means to them or how they define it, I bet the results will very likely be:
- Less than 10% of them--the two pairs will provide 95-100% compatible answers!
- More than 50% of them--the two pairs will provide vague answers/definitions.
- The rest of them--the two pairs will provide (in)compatible answers to a variable degree.
No wonder why most marriages become one of the the most frustrating aspects of life and many marriages fail and end up in divorce! It's really hard to successfully build something mutually without having a clear understanding of it by the two parties, especially if that thing is a critical and sensitive matter like 'marriage'.
The term/word 'Marriage' is quite confusing as it has multiple variable definitions/meanings, it has a linguistic meaning that may vary from one language to another, a legal definition that differs from one country to another, a cultural interpretation that conflicts with one culture and another, and a religious definition that is incompatible with one religion and another. Hence, when it comes to discussing marital issues it's really necessary to clarify which of the meanings of marriage you are talking about, in other words from which perspective. Have you ever heard of the Relativity Theory?! This is a good example of it! :^)
In this series 'Marriage in Islam' I'll be discussing Marriage and Marital issues mainly from Islamic perspective. In the next post, I'll try to formulate a precise and clear Islamic definition of marriage and define the fundamental elements of it.
Salams,
ReplyDeleteSubhanAllah, what you have said about how marriage has so many different meanings to it, is what I have been trying to educate many the youngsters here in sydney, making them aware of it. We also need to re educate the rest of the world hehe.. what does it mean to have a husband or a wife? and why is it that humans can't carry the name without changing authorities?
Salams Iesha :)
Salam Iesha,
ReplyDeleteHow enlightened the world will be if people acquaint other people with what they acquired of knowledge & experience! I guess the word 'ignorance' would only exists in the dictionary! Keep up the good work!
Honestly, I've always wanted to publish a decent article about my point of view of marriage that I developed and discovered through my pondering of the Islamic sources (especially Quraan) and off course the experience that I underwent. However, I've always found it difficult to write about it without relating to other essential matters that are still commonly misunderstood or probably not understood at all, for instance women rights, personal freedom, religious freedom, personal independence, etc .. What makes it even more complicated is how the notion of marriage is muddled up with different meanings religiously, legally, and culturally! Plus, different major sects in Islam and the different types of marriage! So I just end up saying "That's too much writings -- who gives a damn though!" I looked around and I think I saw nobody! :)
Given the fact I'm in a quest for a soul mate, it's crucial that I make my notion of marriage known to the prospects!
The notion is already in mind, I just need to review several Sharia (Islamic laws) references of the different major sects (Hanbali, Shafi, Maliki, Hanafi & Imami) to remark on them and have the references available for whatever I'll be reporting and discussing. That's will take sometime, Inshallah over the Christmas holiday will start working hard on it.
That's will be controversial but at the same time revolutionary thus I don't want to write in haste, I better keep it slow but sure! :)