Friday, January 23, 2009

When My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth - Quraan 2:186 (5)

"Our Lord! Cause not our hearts to stray after Thou hast guided us, and bestow upon us mercy from Thy Presence. Lo! Thou, only Thou, art the Bestower.

Our Lord! Lo! it is Thou Who gatherest mankind together to a Day of which there is no doubt. Lo! Allah faileth not to keep the tryst. " Quraan 3:8-9

رَبَّنَا لاَ تُزِغْ قُلُوبَنَا بَعْدَ إِذْ هَدَيْتَنَا وَهَبْ لَنَا مِن لَّدُنكَ رَحْمَةً إِنَّكَ أَنتَ الْوَهَّابُ

رَبَّنَا إِنَّكَ جَامِعُ النَّاسِ لِيَوْمٍ لاَّ رَيْبَ فِيهِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ لاَ يُخْلِفُ الْمِيعَادَ

آل عمران : ٨-٩


This is another way the Almighty like to be entreated. To ask Him to help us maintain the straight path. However, the supplication has a confusing statement that seems contradictory to the purpose He created us for!

"Cause not our hearts to stray after Thou hast guided us"

If Allah created us to test us why would He cause our hearts to stray or not to?! If He does so then it's unfair that He will punish us if we committed sins because He strayed our hearts! Neither we will deserve the reward for whatever good we do because He didn't stray our hearts!

The answer is in the previous post of this series. I don't think Allah will cause our hearts to be strayed or not, even though He is totally capable to do so! It would be unjust for Him to do so; only the weak practices injustice while He has the ultimate power, thus He will never be unjust. However, He can test us with difficult (yet sill can be passed successfully) trials that we may fail in, consequently that failure will cause our hearts to be strayed but it's us who are liable about our failures not Him. Thus, the supplication is about asking Him not put us through difficult tests that we may fail in.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Enslavery: "What will people say?"




Whenever we think of doing something that might be unusual, yet not wrong, or refrain from doing something that could be wrong, yet usual, we ask that question!
"What will people say?"

Why do we care about what will people say?! How come we don't ask this question!
"What will Allah say?"

I believe that's a fundamental difference between real Muslims who are Muslims by conviction and dummy Muslims who are Muslims by heredity.

What does Allah say about people?
"most of mankind give not thanks." Quran 2:243
وَلَكِنَّ أَكْثَرَ النَّاسِ لاَ يَشْكُرُونَ
البقرة : ٢٤٣

"most of mankind know not." Quraan 7:187

وَلَكِنَّ أَكْثَرَ النَّاسِ لاَ يَعْلَمُونَ
الأعراف : ١٨٧

"most of mankind believe not." Quraan 11:17

وَلَكِنَّ أَكْثَرَ النَّاسِ لاَ يُؤْمِنُونَ
هود : ١٧

"And though thou try much, most men will not believe." Quraan 12:103

وَمَا أَكْثَرُ النَّاسِ وَلَوْ حَرَصْتَ بِمُؤْمِنِينَ
يوسف : ١٠٣

"most of mankind refuse aught save disbelief." Quraan 17:89

فَأَبَى أَكْثَرُ النَّاسِ إِلاَّ كُفُورًا
الإسراء : ٨٩


That's the people you care about what they say?! That's what Allah say about them! That's the reality of the majority of people! No wonder the world became like a jungle or probably worse! Ever heard of genocides in a jungle committed by animals?!

That's what I call enslavery by customs & traditions! To refrain yourself from doing what you think is right just because of what people might say against you!


Monday, January 19, 2009

Merry Christmas to all Muslims!


"Say (O Muslims): We believe in Allah and that which is revealed unto us and that which was revealed unto Abraham, and Ishmael, and Isaac, and Jacob, and the tribes, and that which Moses and Jesus received, and that which the prophets received from their Lord. We make no distinction between any of them, and unto Him we have surrendered." Quraan 2:136

قُولُواْ آمَنَّا بِاللَّهِ وَمَا أُنزِلَ إِلَيْنَا وَمَا أُنزِلَ إِلَى إِبْرَاهِيمَ وَإِسْمَاعِيلَ وَإِسْحَاقَ وَيَعْقُوبَ وَالأَسْبَاطِ وَمَا أُوتِيَ مُوسَى وَعِيسَى وَمَا أُوتِيَ النَّبِيُّونَ مِن رَّبِّهِمْ لاَ نُفَرِّقُ بَيْنَ أَحَدٍ مِّنْهُمْ وَنَحْنُ لَهُ مُسْلِمُونَ
البقرة : ١٣٦

Over the last Christmas I greeted some good Muslims with "Merry Christmas", all of them lived all or most of their lives in the West. That's the reactions I got:
  • One was so surprised that I celebrate Christmas
  • Another said doesn't celebrate Christmas but thanked me anyway
  • Others greeted back conservatively
  • One opposed it bluntly and said it's Haram/forbidden! Ironically, she was a revert from Christianity! :^)
  • As far as I remember, only one or none exchanged the greeting as a normal celebration
Why don't we celebrate Christmas? It's Jesus' birthday! Don't we love him? We may argue about the accuracy of the date but that doesn't matter it's the thought that counts anyway! Isn't Jesus the closest Prophet to our Prophet Mohammad? Isn't Jesus our Prophet? Don't we expect his return? True, we disagree with some principles of Christianity but that doesn't mean we should reject anything comes from it! Isn't Christianity the closest religion to ours? Don't we claim we follow Jesus better than Christians? Isn't it a good opportunity to show the genuine tolerance and interconnection of Islam with other religions especially the other monotheistic religions (Christianity & Judaism)?!

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Marriage in Islam: Sex, forbidden subject?



Sex is considered a forbidden subject for some of the so called "Religious" Muslims and even for other religious people of different religions! Somehow is looked at with a disgraceful look! Faces change when they hear that word! Why? What's wrong with it?

In Quraan the holy book of Muslims, sexual related issues are discussed in more than one occasion, the word "Nikah/نكاح" which means "Sexual Intercourse" is mentioned several times explicitly! So what's the deal?

I think there's nothing inherently evil or bad of itself, sex is no different here. True, prostitution is bad but not sex itself! Immodesty is bad but not beauty! Can't we differentiate?! The knife is bad if it will be used for killing but it's a handy tool otherwise!

So what does Islam say about sex?

Sex and erotic interactions is a natural right for males and females that can only be obtained through marriage. I think that's why in Quraan Allah calls marriage "Nikah" (sexual intercourse) because it's the unique feature the marital relationship has than other relations.

Herein a nice demonstrative story from Quraan about sex:

A little background: The Arabic man in pre-Islam era if he says to his wife "You are forbidden on me like my mother" he will never have sex with her thenceforth, that's called "Zihar" they remain married but no sexual intercourse.

During the Prophet time a Muslim man had an argument with his wife and said that phrase to her. The wife went to the Prophet to complain about her husband that he wouldn't have sex with her anymore. Then Allah revealed to his Prophet a whole Surah (chapter in Quraan) about this occasion which is called "Surah Al Mujadila":

"Allah has indeed heard (and accepted) the statement of the woman who pleads with thee concerning her husband and carries her complaint (in prayer) to Allah: and Allah (always) hears the arguments between both sides among you: for Allah hears and sees (all things).

If any men among you divorce their wives by Zihar (calling them mothers), they cannot be their mothers: none can be their mothers except those who gave them birth. And in fact they use words (both) iniquitous and false: but truly Allah is One that blots out (sins), and forgives (again and again).

But those who divorce their wives by Zihar, then wish to go back on the words they uttered, (it is ordained that such a one) should free a slave before they touch each other: these are ye admonished to perform: and Allah is well-acquainted with (all) that ye do.

And if any has not (the wherewithal), he should fast for two months consecutively before they touch each other. But if any is unable to do so, he should feed sixty indigent ones. This, that ye may show your faith in Allah and His Messenger, those are limits (set by) Allah. For those who reject (Him), there is a grievous Penalty."
Quraan 58:1-4


قَدْ سَمِعَ اللَّهُ قَوْلَ الَّتِي تُجَادِلُكَ فِي زَوْجِهَا وَتَشْتَكِي إِلَى اللَّهِ وَاللَّهُ يَسْمَعُ تَحَاوُرَكُمَا إِنَّ اللَّهَ سَمِيعٌ بَصِيرٌ

الَّذِينَ يُظَاهِرُونَ مِنكُم مِّن نِّسَائِهِم مَّا هُنَّ أُمَّهَاتِهِمْ إِنْ أُمَّهَاتُهُمْ إِلاَّ الَّلائِي وَلَدْنَهُمْ وَإِنَّهُمْ لَيَقُولُونَ مُنكَرًا مِّنَ الْقَوْلِ وَزُورًا وَإِنَّ اللَّهَ لَعَفُوٌّ غَفُورٌ

وَالَّذِينَ يُظَاهِرُونَ مِن نِّسَائِهِمْ ثُمَّ يَعُودُونَ لِمَا قَالُوا فَتَحْرِيرُ رَقَبَةٍ مِّن قَبْلِ أَن يَتَمَاسَّا ذَلِكُمْ تُوعَظُونَ بِهِ وَاللَّهُ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ خَبِيرٌ

فَمَن لَّمْ يَجِدْ فَصِيَامُ شَهْرَيْنِ مُتَتَابِعَيْنِ مِن قَبْلِ أَن يَتَمَاسَّا فَمَن لَّمْ يَسْتَطِعْ فَإِطْعَامُ سِتِّينَ مِسْكِينًا ذَلِكَ لِتُؤْمِنُوا بِاللَّهِ وَرَسُولِهِ وَتِلْكَ حُدُودُ اللَّهِ وَلِلْكَافِرِينَ عَذَابٌ أَلِيمٌ

المجادلة - الآيات ١-٤

There are many morals out of this story but in regard to this topic, it shows how significant, yet normal that right is for women and men equally.

I'm not advocating for immodesty by talking about sex senselessly but rather advocating for sex education. It's unarguable that sex is one of the most important elements of the marital relationship, not only that but it's the unique feature that distinguishes marriage from other relationships, so neglecting it means neglecting a huge part of the relationship which off course means a huge problem in the relationship! :^)

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Marriage in Islam: a definition

"Marriage. Why do we do it Everybody knows the stats. One in two marriages end up in broken dishes and a trip to Tijuana. Is it loneliness Partly. Is it teamwork Definitely. Things just kind of go easier when there's two of you. One of you can wait in line at the movie theater while the other guy parks the car. Get better seats that way. Better room rate when it's a double. Are you ready to file jointly...Above you is the sun and sky. Below you, the ground. Like the sun, your love should be constant, like the ground, solid." Jed Seidel


As promised in the preface of this series, the objective of this post will be about formulating an Islamic definition for marriage and defining its basic elements. I'll be asking some questions and will draw a conclusion out of the answers that should lead to a clear definition.

What is marriage?

Marriage is normally (apart from gays) a personal relationship that can be formed by a man and a woman (or sometimes multiple women) through a covenant commitment to be together for a lifetime and thereby the man becomes a husband for the the woman and the woman becomes a wife for the man, also in case the couple procreate offspring, the man becomes a father for the children and the woman becomes a mother for them.

Where does the complexity of marriage lie in?
Rights and responsibilities. Hence, expectations and frustrations.

The man by becoming a husband obtains rights that have to be fulfilled by the wife and also bears responsibilities towards the wife, likewise for the woman, by becoming a wife she obtains rights that have to be fulfilled by the husband and also bears responsibilities towards the husband. Furthermore, both the man and the woman as parents bear responsibilities towards their children until certain age. The complexity of marriage lies in defining and understanding those rights and responsibilities legally, culturally, and religiously.

Who can form an Islamic marriage?

An eligible adult Muslim man with an eligible adult Muslim, or Christian, or Jewish woman with the condition of her guardian acceptance (only if she's dependent according to some sects).

What are the basic elements of an Islamic marriage?
  • Bridegroom: An eligible adult Muslim man (i.e. sane, can't marry more than four women, can't marry his sister, etc ..)
  • Bride: An eligible adult Muslim, or Christian, or Jewish woman (i.e. sane, must be single, not a recent divorcee or widow -- not in Ida, etc ..)
  • Bride guardian: The acceptance of the woman guardian (only if she's dependent according to some sects).
  • Consent: Mutual consent (genuine acceptance, no imposition on either party) between the bride and the bridegroom through an offer and acceptance.
  • Witnesses/Announcement: The presence of two witnesses is compulsory/Wajib for Sunni while is recommended/Mustahab for Shi'ite.
  • Dowry: It's highly recommended that the bridegroom gives the bride a Dowry/Mahr/Gift, it only becomes compulsory if it was a condition upon the bridegroom.

What are the responsibilities of the husband towards the wife in Islam?

  • He is obligated to cover the basic living expenses for his wife (i.e. shelter, food, clothing, medical, etc..)
  • He must reasonably satisfy his wife's sexual needs (some scholars decree whenever she needs to, other scholars decree at least once in a while)
  • If he has more than a wife then he has to be just in his living expenses and divide his nights equally among them.
What are the husband rights in Islam?
  • To be satisfied sexually by his wife whenever he needs to unless she can't because of reasonable excuses
  • To be the household leader (not dictator)
  • To have the privilege to end the relationship
What are the responsibilities of the wife towards the husband in Islam?
  • She is obligated to satisfy her husband's sexual needs whenever he needs to and must not reject him unless there's a justifiable reason like being ill or having the period, etc..
  • She is not allowed to leave home without his permission (some scholars decree that the wife can leave home without his permission if that won't prevent her husband from being satisfied sexually when he needs to)
What are the wife rights in Islam?
  • To be reasonably satisfied sexually by her husband
  • To have her basic living expenses covered by her husband
  • To be treated fairly (in basic living expenses & nights) as her counterpart(s) if her husband has multiple wives
  • To end the relationship through an Islamic judge if the husband is not fulfilling his responsibilities towards her or causing some harm to her (the judge has to determine whether the reasons are reasonable or not)
How about love and respect?
Love is not a responsibility neither a right, it's something should be worked out and built by both of them. However, there are several Quranic verses and Hadiths encourage the couples to treat each other with respect and show affection towards each other, in other words people can't be instructed to love or not! Thus Allah didn't ask the couples to love each other, it's uncontrollable feelings it can't become a right or a responsibility but He encourage us as people in general and as couples in particular to treat each other with mercy and respect.

How about the houseworks?
In Islam the wife doesn't have to do the houseworks it's recommended/Mustahab for her to do so, in other words the husband can't force her to do the houseworks.

How about obeying the husband?
Principally from Islamic perspective, a person doesn't have to obey anyone, if that person chose to become a Muslim then s/he voluntarily accepted to obey the Messenger and follow the Message of Islam, it shouldn't be imposed on him/her. Obeying the parents is not Wajib/compulsory in Islam, however treating them nicely is and obeying them is recommended/Mustahab. In regard to obeying the husband, from Islamic legal perspective the wife doesn't have to obey the husband but since Islam put the husband as a family leader she probably needs to obey him in matters where it's related to the family directly as long as that won't lead her to commit something Haram/forbidden or leave something Wajib/compulsory. Neverthless, Islam encourages the husband to consult the wife and work things out with her mutually.

What most Muslims especially women don't know about marriage in Islam?
Most Muslims especially women don't know that marriage is basically a mutual agreement like any other agreement it has terms and conditions. The aforementioned responsibilities and rights for husband and wife are the default terms and conditions for the marriage agreement that sat by Islam but they only become effective and compulsory if the two parties (bridegroom & bride) don't oppose them explicitly! Moreover, most (if not all) of those terms and conditions are Islamically (according to Islamic legal system - Shariah) alterable completely or to some extent! For instance, the bride can accept on condition that she will be able to leave home without the husband permission, etc ..

Are there any limits on the conditions the bride & bridegroom can set on their marriage agreement?
No reasonable limits as long as the conditions don't causes either party to commit something Haram/Forbidden (e.g. drinking alcohol) nor to abandon something Wajib/compulsory (e.g. prayer). However, some sects decree that the bride can't ask the bridegroom to give up his right of marrying another woman while in other sects it's a valid condition.

So marriage in Islam is merely a mutual agreement between an eligible Muslim man with an eligible Muslim/Christian/Jewish woman?
From Islamic legal (Shariah) perspective yes, it's only a mutual agreement between an eligible Muslim man with an eligible Muslim or Christian or Jewish woman. However, from Islamic spiritual perspective it's much beyond that.

What makes marriage different from other agreements?
One word "Sex". In Islam sexual intercourse and erotic interactions are natural rights for males and females that can only be practiced through marriage. In other words, if an agreement between a Muslim man with a Muslim or Christian or Jewish woman has no implicit or explicit mention of performing sexual intercourse or erotic interactions then it can't be called a marriage but it becomes a normal agreement like any other agreement (e.g. trade agreement) that the two parties have to fulfill its conditions as they consented. Hence, Quraan calls marriage "Nikah/نكاح" which is an Arabic word that means "sexual intercourse"

Why does Quraan call marriage "Nikah/sexual intercourse"?
Apparently that's an objective/scientific naming as "sexual intercourse" is the unique attribute of this personal relationship compared to the other personal relationships. Love, respect, support, care, etc.. all may exist in other personal relationships like father-ship, mother-ship, brother-ship, sister-ship, friendship, etc..

Is "sexual intercourse" the only unique attribute of marriage compared to other personal relationships?
Yes. However, it has other unique features but they are the result of the sexual intercourse, like procreation then sub-consequently the parentship and childship, etc..

Sexual intercourse (marriage = husband-ship + wife-ship) --> procreation (parent-ship + child-ship + sibling-ship) --> subprocreation (grandparent-ship + grandchild-ship + uncle-ship + aunt-ship + cousin-ship)

Is marriage compulsory/Wajib in Islam?
No, all sects in Islam agree that marriage is not compulsory but rather recommended/Mustahab/Sunnah or permissible/Mubah, it becomes compulsory/Wajib if the person might commit adultery if remains single.

Is marriage really half the religion/Deen?
If marriage is not compulsory in Islam how can it be half of Islam/Deen/religion?! Certainly that can't be true. Yes, there are some Hadiths for the Prophet regarding that like he said ” Any man whom Allah provides with a virtuous wife has been helped to half his Deen, so he should fear Allah regarding the other half.”

عن أنس رضي الله عنه أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه و آله وسلم قال: من رزقه الله امرأة صالحة فقد أعانه على شطر دينه فليتق الله في الشطر الباقي. رواه الطبراني في الأوسط والحاكم ومن طريقه للبيهقي وقال الحاكم صحيح الإسناد، وفي رواية البيهقي قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله و سلم: إذا تزوج العبد فقد استكمل نصف الدين فليتق الله في النصف الباقي. حسنه الألباني في صحيح الترغيب والترهيب.


If those Hadiths are true, then they don't mean it's literally half the religion/Deen. The Arabic meaning for the word Deen "دين" is "a lifestyle", however nowadays it usually refer to "religious lifestyle", also according to Islam this life is a test which is to live it according to religion (The Message of Islam). Thus, the Hadith may was referring to the marriage as half of person's life as the person will spend most of his life with his wife, so if that time will be spent wisely (hence "virtuous wife" not "any wife") according to the religion then he basically fulfilled half of his religion. I think the Hadith can be applied to both man and woman like in many Quranic verses even though it was talking about the husband.

And the definition is?
I leave this for you to form! :^)